Jimmy Cussens
My Beloved Brother-in-Laws Funeral
We stood at this churchyard gate
And black and drab await the minute hand’s ok.
Uncertain we are then
By flicking glances wonder : what’s for me to do and when.
Someone’s decided and we take our place,
Ousting the professional men, as Sheila signals “other side” to me
I take my cue, discreetly racing in and round
To carry Jim.
Gloomy we move with left foot first and
In despair and pain we plod –
All six for access dropped our hands
And through the doorway trod.
Now as with our holiday trip we stood
Yet misery dispelled familiar days
When Paul and his rugby friends told jokes
Which locked us safely in a genial haze.
Since then has change begun to grow
Now full-circled in its subtle loop……
And Bob had also died but at that time
I was not told – I did not know.
I did not know and with such dispirited regret
Helpless in collective gloom
I say nothing
We all look down we all say nothing yet.
We miss dear Jim
We used to miss him living just apart.
We felt not valued quite as much
And missing would not cause such ripples or such fuss.
Friendly Fergus, just in control lays forth
Unworldly qualities of him. His undying friend and all
Understood the mystery of nature’s few
Their tolerance and unbending human view
Around this room we hang down all our heads
While silent ghosts with gentle sounds arrive
An endless stream of souls are hushed
Their lives on pause as if ashamed to be alive.
A fitting place for Peace we said
Freeze-framed around a country fringe
His body ever held in pause for us.
Down through these empty years to come
Our family gutted to the core lies
Flapping on a stone-cold slab for evermore.
Peter farrsq@yahoo.co.uk
(Contact from friends welcome)
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