World Squash Day has received an interesting proposition from Australia, where a young female player has volunteered to go above and beyond the call of duty to promote the cause, by playing squash in the nude!

Steve Walton, promoter of the ACT Open in Canberra, writes:

We have just received an odd challenge for our ACT Open, which we are linking with World Squash Day. A young lady has just emailed me saying that she is prepared to challenge any man to play her and she will be nude!!! The trick is that every time he looks at her  ... errrr ... naughty bits, he loses a point. She has asked me if I am interested in promoting the challenge.

This has raised quite a few thoughts for me, most of which are private, but perhaps you or indeed some Grapevine readers could assist with some answers.

1: How will I attract an impartial referee?
2: I am a little concerned that the standard calls of let and stroke may be misconstrued, any ideas as to what I can replace them with?
3: The young lady has suggested that she will be fully covered in body paint. Is WSD an all-whites affair for clothing?
4: Do I have to pay Steve Line to take photographs or does he do some work pro bono?!?

I think I will stop there and allow your better judgement to tell me how to proceed.

Well, Steve, the Grapevine think tank immediately swung into action and our refereeing consultant thought that you would have no trouble in attracting willing individuals keen to officiate. They might not be blind at the start of the match, but they quite probably will be by the end. The main problem, according to our consultant, was that calls of "Hand In" and "Hand Out" might be misconstrued.

As for body paint, again, I am sure you will be inundated with volunteers to assist in this process. WSD does not have an all-white clothing policy. However, painting this year's logo in a strategic position to maximise exposure for media purposes is naturally an important part of the whole promotion.

Again, I am sure there will be no shortage of photographers, TV crews and media people, willing to cover the event, or even uncover the event, so I think you and your lady friend might just have hit on the ideal way to give squash a massive media boost. Just look what it did for Vicky Botwright!

Article from On the Grapevine. Read the full article 14 Mar 03 at - www.squashplayer.co.uk/results/grapevine.htm